bunga terakhir

diantara kita

pernah terjalin rasa

ku tau semua takkan pernah terulang

kini kusadari semua salahku

maaf 

maafkan aku

maafkan diriku

mencintaimu menyayangimu setulus hatiku

namun kini kau tlah memilih

kini kau bahagia dengannya . . . . . 

bunga terakhir 

yang kau berikan 

valentine tahun lalu . tak ku bayangkan menjadi yang terakhir

layu, tak berwarna

mungkin seperti perasaanmu padaku

tapi tidak denganku, dirimu dimataku masih segar dan penuh warna 

penuh dengan kenangan kenangan itu

aku masih menyimpannya 

aku masih menyimpanmu didalam hatiku . .  .

thinking of you till hurts

can you see living in my eyes ?

losing you is painful to me 

In my dreams, In my sleep

I gotta feel you in my bones again

I wanna you one more time again

I just want you love me back

why won't you just love me back ?

why can't you just love me back ?

Cause there's nothing, nothing I can do 
To keep my heart away from youTo get you off my mind 
To help me move on and just live my life
I can't help it, I can't tell you how much I try

share

share . .
and you can learn from my life
you can learn from my fault

***

experienced during High school
initially, our relationship as a ordinary couple
the longer the darling, more and more in love

because he loves me,He is keeping me, He was always attentive, and very over protect
so he became very jealous
he was always  attention to what I'm doing and he was very attentive to my surroundings

started from when I was a school assignment in groups and groups with man
he was not happy with it. We fight out , he say rude

then he started holding my hand so hard so reddish and sometimes with his nails he gripped my hand up to wound.
current school break, we fight in front of the class, we fight silent so not to be seen by my friend
often He stab my hand with a pencil or pen and then break the pencil and throw
Our fight is not about things that I do, I never once do what he accused
like joking with other man or get too close to him

we often fight, above the motorcycle, he say to me with the words that are not appropriate
pinch my arm and always kicked my feet from the front, up on my shin bone. That so hurt
The most embarrassing thing, I was studying the group, he threw my face with my heavy bags
in front of my friends and  I was so embarrassed because all my friends should see this


we also fight at home
he shouted, he said dirty words
I reply too because I felt didnt do what he accused
then he slapped me
and I was there to cry, he silenced me then he apologized and gave me a hug
so that's how happened
Our fight great but I always forgive him just because one thing
I so love him
I always forgive him
It is verbal abuse and phisycal abuse  . . .

Its my fault


I hope for the readers , you can be firm if experience it.
you can defend yourself
Love doesnt have give everything you have
Love shouldnt be blind like that
Love should be trust and love
but the most I expected you will not have abuse like me



For you mr.r

that I still love till now. I dont know why, I already have someone but I still thinking of you
You always in my hearts, you gave me the best and the worst experiences
may you always be happy
though without me